CO-PARENTING IN THE UNITED STATES

Co-parenting is making an arrangement that allows you and your child’s other parent to jointly raise your child in the best way possible after a divorce. This will ensure that your child feels loved and cared for, despite the situation.

If you have a minor child and are seeking a divorce in the United States, the courts may require you and your partner to attend a parenting class. This class makes you and your co-parent fully aware of the negative responses your child might have if you both stay focused on the conflict instead of on the children most affected by the divorce. It also helps you decide what is best for your child. Unmarried couples with children who are separating will also benefit from taking a coparenting class.

THREE (3) TYPES OF CO-PARENTING IN THE UNITED STATES

Cooperative or healthy co-parenting means that you and your ex-partner work hard to put aside your differences so that you communicate better, resolve conflicts faster, cooperate, and assist each other in raising the children. This kind of parenting is best for the child, you, and your child’s other parent.
Parallel co-parenting means that you limit communication, maintain a business-like relationship with your co-parent, and strictly keep to a parenting plan. This is usually better if your relationship with your ex-spouse was toxic, and is still bad for your mental health.
Conflicted co-parenting is toxic for everyone involved. In this case, you and your co-parent cannot stand each other and sometimes pay lawyers to go between. You hardly agree, and the children caught in the crossfire are usually worse off for it. You should avoid this by all means.

CUSTODY AND VISITATION IN THE UNITED STATES

Custody and visitation is the legal right and duty you and your co-parent have to make decisions and have access to your children. The family court judge decides this unless you and your ex-partner can come to an agreement on your own.

There are two types of Custody in the United States;

Legal custody refers to you and your co parent’s right to make important decisions regarding your child’s upbringing, such as education and healthcare. The court can grant a joint legal or sole legal custody;

Joint legal custody means that you both have the right to make decisions about your child’s welfare.
Sole legal custody means that only one of you can make this decision.

Physical custody refers to where your child will live and with whom they will spend their time.

Joint physical custody means that the child spends significant time with both parents, and you are both are responsible for day-to-day care.

Sole physical custody means that the child lives with one parent and that parent is responsible for day-to-day care.

Legal custody and physical custody can be awarded separately, and the court system will always prioritize your child’s best interest in custody and visitation matters. This means that the court will consider a variety of factors, including;

The child’s relationship with each parent
The parent’s ability to provide a stable and loving home,
Potential risks to the child’s safety or well-being.
Disruption of the child’s normal routine and
Access to other family members

States like Illinois and Georgia allow children over 14 to decide which parent they want to live with, but will override their decision if they decide that the child’s decision is not in his/ her best interest. Other states like Arkansas, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Montana, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, South Dakota, Utah, Vermont, and Wyoming do not consider the child’s preference while making custody decisions.

Visitation schedules vary depending on the situation. It involves regular contact between you and your child if you are a non-custodial parent. You can expect overnight visits, weekend visits, or scheduled phone or video calls as well as plans for holidays, vacations, and special occasions

As a custodial parent, if you are concerned about the safety of your child or the ability of the non-custodial parent to care for the child, the court will order supervised visitation.

CHILD CUSTODY LAWS

Child custody laws vary from state to state in the United States, but they are designed to protect your child’s best interest and ensure that they have access to both parents unless there is a compelling reason otherwise. By understanding the laws and working with an experienced attorney, you can navigate the custody process and create a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of your child. See resources for child custody laws for your state.

WHEN YOU CAN MODIFY THE CUSTODY

You can seek a modification of the custody and visitation order;

If your co-parent is not following the schedule or is not providing your child with a safe and healthy environment.
Where there is a significant change in the circumstances of the other parent. For example, if the other parent moves out of state or becomes unable to provide proper care for the child, the court may modify the custody and visitation order to better serve the child’s needs.

HOW TO GET EMERGENCY CUSTODY IN THE UNITED STATES

Emergency Custody allows you to obtain temporary custody when your child is in immediate danger.

To get emergency custody,

File a petition that includes information about the child’s current situation and why you believe your child is in immediate danger.
The court will review the petition and may hold a hearing to determine whether emergency custody is necessary.
Information in the emergency motion document about why you believe the child is in immediate danger and harm. Medical records, reports from child protective services, and sworn statements from witnesses, yourself, and the child all help to ensure the courts award temporary emergency custody to you.

The court will only grant emergency custody if they find that your child is in imminent danger and if they decide that granting emergency custody is in the child’s best interests. This may include situations.

Where your child is being physically, emotionally, or sexually abused
Where your child’s safety is at risk due to neglect or other circumstances
Where the other parent abandons your child with family or friends
Where there is a case of Domestic Violence
Where the co-parent is abusing drugs
Where your co-parent constantly Interferes with Visitation
If the other parent is poisoning your child against you by putting negative thoughts in the child’s mind about you.

If the court grants you emergency custody, it will issue an order specifying the terms of the custody arrangement. This includes the duration of the emergency custody, the custody schedule, and any other necessary provisions. The court may also issue a restraining order to prevent the other parent from having contact with the child.

In cases where there’s no actual proof, a judge may appoint a guardian or psychologist to investigate the case further. The goal of the courts is to work toward fixing the problems so that your kid has the opportunity to reunite with their parents. Giving false information, puts you in contempt of court, and you can lose custody of your child. You may also be forced to pay a fine.

Emergency custody is temporary and is only intended to provide protection for your child until a more permanent custody arrangement can be put in place. The court will typically schedule a follow-up hearing to determine whether emergency custody should continue or if a different custody arrangement is necessary.

The courts will give you a document pertaining to your upcoming hearing date. The emergency temporary custody order is only effective until that hearing date.

At that hearing, the co-parent is given a chance to defend themselves. You will be responsible for serving the new emergency order and the order to appear in court to the opposing party. A judge may find that the allegations against the parent are unfounded, but even if a finding of unfitness is made, depending on the allegations, the court could order supervised or restricted visitation.

In extreme cases, the court could give sole custody to the other parent or terminate the parental rights of an unfit parent. This is not permanent, and if your co-parent proves that they have overcome the issues that led to the finding of unfitness, they may be able to regain custody.

CUSTODY DECISIONS FOR UNMARRIED PARENTS

In the United States, the laws governing child custody are generally the same for married and unmarried parents. The courts will consider the best interests of the child when making custody decisions.

In most cases, the court will grant joint custody to you and your child’s other parent, but if the paternity is not established, the court will order a DNA test to determine the father’s identity. Once paternity is established, the court will proceed with making a custody determination based on the best interests of the child.

If the father acknowledges paternity and is deemed fit to have custody, the court may grant joint or sole custody to the father. If the father won’t acknowledge paternity, the court will make a custody determination that does not include him.

TAX CREDIT DECISIONS

The Child Tax Credit is available to parents in the United States and can help reduce the amount of taxes that co-parents owe. It provides a significant financial benefit for families with children.

You are eligible for this Tax Credit if

Your child is a minor and under the age of 17.
Your child is a Resident of the United States
The child is a dependent on your tax return

You can also claim the Child Tax Credit if you have primary custody, but if you share custody with the child’s other parent, you and your co-parent can decide between yourselves which parent will claim the credit. In some cases, you are able to split the credit, with you and your co-parent each claiming a portion of the credit on your individual tax returns.

HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT BETWEEN CO-PARENTS IN THE UNITED STATES

No relationship is free of conflicts. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when conflicts arise. Here are some strategies that you and your co-parent may find helpful for resolving conflicts as they arise:

Communicate openly and honestly: Address conflicts as soon as possible. Listen actively and show respect for your co-parents point of view.
Seek mediation if both of you have trouble communicating and resolving conflicts on your own. A mediator can help promote communication, and make a resolution easier to attain.
Follow a co-parenting plan: Having a co-parenting plan in place can help structure communication and decision-making between you and your child’s other parent. It can also provide a clear set of guidelines to follow when conflicts arise.
Focus on the child’s well-being: Try to put your own feelings and needs aside and focus on what’s best for your child.
Seek support from a therapist, counselor, or other professional trained to provide guidance and support as you navigate the challenges of co-parenting.

Bad co-parenting can have serious negative effects on a child. This can include emotional, psychological, behavioral, social, academic, and health problems. Finding a way to effectively co-parent with your child’s other parent can save you both a lot of heartache and ensure that your child grows up as unharmed as possible. If you register for a parenting class, you will be better equipped to handle the challenges that come with co-parenting in your family after a divorce.