Co Parenting on Halloween

Looking for how to navigate co parenting on Halloween? The holidays are filled with times of fun with family members, but for co-parents, it may seem like difficult times. Planning during the holidays requires a whole new approach for those who co-parent, including Halloween. Major holidays are sometimes included in custody agreements but other times, like Halloween, are sometimes left out. Planning ahead can help you and your children both enjoy the holiday.

Halloween lands on one night and is generally harder to divide up for holidays. For example, one parent can have a child on an actual holiday, like Thanksgiving Thursday and the other can celebrate Thanksgiving on a Saturday with their child. But Halloween is a time to celebrate with others in the community. In fact there is even a movement in the works to have a National Trick or Treat Day on the last Saturday of October.

How Do Co Parents Plan For Halloween?

Some parents manage co-parenting on Halloween by switching it off each year. Others opt to split the day up between the two parents. For example, if there are Halloween-related events at school, one parent will attend the events while the other has the child during nighttime Halloween festivities. And in some places, depending on when Halloween falls during the week, there can be events on different days.  Look in your area for different local events that may work as a time to go be with friends and show off your child’s fun costume.

While there may seem to be obstacles to co parenting on Halloween, remember it is often a fun and special time for kids.  It’s about creating a fun experience for your children and if you are more playful about it, they will have a lot more fun.  It is not a time to bring confrontation or resentment into the mix.  Figuring out scheduling details and talking about your different desires or parenting styles can help you work through any obstacles.

It is important for children to have relationships with both of their parents, and it is possible for two people who have gone through a divorce to put aside their own differences for the sake of your child.

Put Your Child First

Halloween can be a really exciting time for kids and more often than not what is special is being with their friends and community.  It is one of those holidays that is not always as family based as others.  Listen and talk with your kids to see what they are excited about.  Do they want to get together with friends?  Do they want to dress up and parade around in their fun costumes?  Put their thoughts and feelings into the mix when you figure out plans.  It’s not about you or your ex – this is a time for the kids.  If there are challenges that come up in your co-parenting relationship around Halloween it may be a good time to work on developing new dynamics with each other rather than getting hung up on how it used to be in the old relationship you once shared with your ex.

Successful co-parenting takes place when each parent values how important it is to put the child first! Then from you can get creative and figure out how to manage any relationship challenges that come along.

Co parenting Together

Co parenting on Halloween can be totally enjoyable. It may also start you out on figuring out the other upcoming holiday preparations. Plan ahead to decide where your children will spend the holiday. If planning together seems overwhelming, remember that you were able to get through the divorce process together.  You did reach an agreement to co-parent together. Now’s a chance to test your communication muscles before some of the more challenging holiday negotiations come up! Below are some tips for enjoying Halloween together with your children even if you no longer live together:

• Trade holidays every other season so each parent has the opportunity to have kids for a holiday. For example, this year, you can have the kids during Halloween and next year your ex can have them. Then switch back.
• Split activities up. One parent can go to a festival with the kids while the other takes them trick-or-treating.
• Go together and be civil and friendly without making the night tense or uncomfortable for your kids.
• Work to create new traditions with your kids, such as a Halloween activity on another day with the other parent. Perhaps that can be a spooky movie and treats fest on a Saturday night or attending a weekend trick-or-treating event the weekend before the holiday (this is most ideal if Halloween falls on a weekday).

Consider Help

As said above, remember it is normal for co-parenting relationships to face challenges. If you and your ex are having difficulty resolving conflicts and communicating effectively, help can be found. The Co Parenting Into The Future course is an opportunity for each parent to take a powerful look at your own stuff and get clear for yourself what caused problems in the past.  It will help you keep those same issues from getting in the way as you create your new future.  Co parenting powerfully with your ex may not really be as spooky as it seems!