Co-Parenting while in a Relationship
Co-parenting can be challenging when you or your former spouse has a new partner, regardless of how long you have been separated or divorced. Regardless of which end of the spectrum you are on, continuing to see and work with your former partner can be tough. The good news is that many parents are able to make co-parenting with a relationship work.
It is important to find a positive co-parenting approach when a partner enters into your child’s lives. This person may play a major role in their lives at present as well as in the future. Everyone should be on the same page and be willing to work together for the benefit of the kids above all else. Below are some things to keep in mind regarding co-parenting with new partners.
Address Parenting Matters Together
In addition to your former partner, your co-parent’s new partner may also play a major role as caregiver for your child (as might any new partner of your own). You might become a blended family eventually. When this happens, it is important to maintain clear expectations.
Although major decisions about your child’s upbringing may stay between you and your co-parent, the partner(s) may also play a part in the process. New partners may be able to offer constructive commentary and helpful insight that aids you and your former partner in the co-parenting process while holding your child’s best interest at heart.
Remember that if a decision is reached, that you inform any other parental figures so everyone is on the same page and any decision can be upheld by all involved.
Everyone Needs to Respect their Roles
Dating can be hard for anyone involved in the co-parenting process. Each member of the co-parenting relationship (both the previous partners and their new partners) need to have respect for their own roles as well as those of others. If there is a lack of respect or boundaries, it can lead to problems. Not only will your personal relationship suffer, but that with your child’s other parent can be damaged as well, which adversely affects your child. The best step is to ensure that everyone knows what their roles are and that they are aware of the risks of interfering with someone else’s.
New Partners are Good
You and your former partner will always be your child’s parents. When new partners enter into your child’s lives, they may become more involved in their daily routine and might even find a place in your child’s hearts. Although this might be hard for you or your former spouse to face, a new partner coming into your child’s lives can be positive.
It may be difficult to determine exactly how your child feels toward your co-parent’s new partner – especially if your personal feelings are mixed. It is important to avoid discouraging your child’s affection to the new partner and that you don’t allow it to make you feel bad. Know that the new person has your child’s best interest at heart while striving to support the relationship.
Be Respectful
Co-parenting should always be seen as a partnership and should not be a continual battle. Remember to keep your child’s needs in the foreground while encouraging your partner to do the same.
Even if you don’t like your co-parent’s new partner (or if they don’t like yours), always speak kindly about them around your child. Never badmouth your former partner or their new partner in front of your child as it can add to your child’s confusion and cause them to feel like they must choose sides.
Always try to be respectful and cordial when to your co-parent and their new partner. If your former partner struggles with your new relationship, try to be understanding and encourage them to be respectful and cordial for the sake of your child too.
A new approach to the co-parenting relationship with a new partner can be challenging but it can also be beneficial for the whole family. It may also be a good idea to have your new partner or your co-parent’s partner take a co-parenting class so he or she can be part of your co-parenting plan.
