Making Co-Parenting Work: Lessons from Mark and Juli’s Journey

Co-parenting after a divorce is not easy. There’s usually a lot of angst, fear, and hurt, and you generally worry and overthink things. There are suddenly new decisions to make: new partner decisions, income change adaptations, and most importantly, the welfare of the children. It can be overwhelming. 

Co-parenting is the last thing on your mind at this point, especially if the divorce is messy, but it is crucial for your children’s well-being. 

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to co-parenting after a divorce, but it is possible to create a positive relationship. It is like learning a new skill, such as driving a car or playing a musical instrument. It takes practice, patience, and a willingness to make mistakes and learn from them. Learning effective co-parenting also takes commitment, effective communication, and a willingness to prioritize your children’s well-being above all else. 

Mark and Juli are inspiring examples of divorced parents who faced the challenges of co-parenting and came out on top.

Getting to that point even as personal development professionals specializing in communication, was only because they knew they needed to figure out a way to co-parent without inflicting more damage on the well-being of their daughters, who were both 7 and 9 years old at the time they divorced each other after a series of spats and bouts of mistrust.

They had the tools to work with, but they put in the work to fine-tune their skills, overcome the challenges they faced, and over the years build a stronger co-parenting relationship in the process. 

When you and your partner stop fighting and playing the blame game and start considering the best interests of your child, you find that you can start seeing them as partners instead of adversaries. When that happens, you and your partner find it easier to include the other person and even their significant other in your lives and your children’s lives.

Mark and Juli describe their experience as having a ripple effect on their lives. According to Juli, it got to a point where they were able to include each other in important family milestones and celebrations and create a new extended family that their daughters could be proud to be part of.

Key Co-parenting Lessons from Mark and Juli’s Journey

Mark and Juli’s story highlights several valuable lessons for co-parents trying to navigate the challenges and obstacles that arise after a divorce. Their journey is a reminder that co-parenting is more about commitment, and a willingness to do what is right for the children every other time. Here are some key lessons from their Journey;

• Commitment to the well-being of your children.

For Mark and Juli, this was making and keeping the promise that they would always act in the best interest of their daughters, and put their children’s needs first, even when it was hard. But it could also be a commitment to the well-being of your children, establishing consistent rules and expectations for them across you and your co-parent’s households to help provide stability and minimize confusion for them. It is the willingness to seek outside help, such as therapy or mediation, if you are struggling to communicate effectively with your co-parent or resolve conflicts. Commitment to the well-being of your child is sharing custody responsibly, communicating openly and respectfully, and supporting each other’s parenting decisions. 

You and your co-parent must recognize that your child needs to feel loved and secure, even if their parents are no longer together.

• Effective and Frequent Communication

Communication is the key to co-parenting success, and Mark and Juli understood this. They used their professional skills to listen actively, express themselves clearly, and negotiate solutions that worked for everyone. They also made a conscious effort to stay in touch, whether through phone calls, texts, emails, or in-person meetings. Mark and Juli recognized that small issues could quickly escalate if left unaddressed and that misunderstandings could lead to resentment and conflict. This made them ensure effective and regular communication about their children’s needs, schedules, and activities. 

• Being flexible and open-minded

It allows you to adapt to new situations and work together with your co-parent to come up with solutions that are in the best interest of your children. It means being willing to listen to your co-parent’s perspective, considering their ideas and suggestions, and being open to making changes to your co-parenting arrangement if necessary.

• Negotiation and compromise

You and your co-parent would have different views and opinions on how to raise your children. Negotiation involves finding a middle ground and working out a solution that works for both parties. Compromise means that you and your co-parent may need to give something up to reach an agreement that benefits your children. Mark and Juli shared custody equally, and each had to travel out of town sometimes. For them, it was a challenge that had to be discussed, and they both had to make adjustments on their own and together to make it work. They both speak highly of negotiation and compromise as important tools that helped them on their journey.

• Focusing on the present and the future 

This is important because it allows you to move forward from the past and focus on what is important now and in the future. Dwelling on the past can cause emotional pain and prevent progress in co-parenting. It’s important to let go of past hurts and mistakes and instead focus on creating a positive co-parenting relationship that benefits everyone involved, especially your children. Mark recommends forgiving your spouse, extending grace to them, and recognizing your part in the situation to help you move forward from the past. 

• Building a supportive network

Mark and Juli were not alone in their journey. They had help from family, a therapist, and a trusted mediator to help them navigate the challenges of divorce and co-parenting. They also sought out resources, such as books, courses, and counseling, to learn more about effective co-parenting. Both recognized that no one has all the answers and that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Their co-parenting journey was not easy, but it was worth it, and they were able to raise two healthy, happy daughters who grew up knowing that their parents loved them and respected each other. They also discovered a new way of working together as business partners, which is a testament to their resilience and creativity.

Co-parenting after divorce is possible. With the right mindset, skills, and support, you can create a positive co-parenting relationship that benefits everyone involved. Remember, your children deserve the best from both of their parents, even if you are no longer together as a couple.

After a lifetime of working together and assisting each other to co-parent better, Mark’s sister, who is a top divorce attorney in Texas, maintains that throughout her 35-year career, she has never met a couple like Mark and Juli. 

Mark Kamin and Juli Hall have now designed a co-parenting course for all types of families. They share practical exercises and tools to help you, whether you’re co-parenting with your ex and trying to work things out and stay together, or you’re a stepparent trying to navigate a blended family, communicate more effectively, and prioritize your children’s well-being. 

They share their experiences, tips, and the important lessons they learned as they grew to be better co-parents. These tips have helped thousands of divorced couples in the United States co-parent better and reduce the impact of divorce on their kids.

Mark and Juli’s online co-parenting course can help you learn to co-parent effectively, even amid a difficult divorce. There are practical exercises and tools to help you build a successful co-parenting relationship, focus on your child’s well-being, and start viewing your partner with respect and empathy.

If you’re going through a divorce, and struggling to co-parent effectively, take the course “Co-parenting into the Future”, and learn from their experience because it’s never too late to start building a successful co-parenting relationship and putting your children first.