Raising good students together after divorce
Summer days are filled with sunny poolside afternoons and sticky hands from ice cream cones, but before we know it, your kids will be off to another year of school. Back-to-school time is both exciting and anxiety-producing for kids and their parents. Shopping for new school supplies and sorting out details about teachers and new academic demands can be challenging for everyone but even more so for children and parents of divorce or separation. Working together after divorce may seem like an impossible task. But when it comes to your kids, you know you have to be up to the task. We have some suggestions to help ease the transition into your new school year and how to help your children succeed academically as you work together after divorce.
Be Structured
Structure offers security to your child, who is possibly already feeling vulnerable and shaken as the result of the new changes to your family unit. Create structure with details. Decide who will drop them off at school and who will pick them up after school and let your children know this clearly. Establish a schedule together after divorce and stick to it as closely as possible. A few weeks before the new school year begins get started with the new routines, including bedtime and morning wake up times, so that everyone can get used to it.
Become Involved
Numerous studies have shown that parental engagement helps children do better academically. Reading to your child, teaching your child to read, helping them to set educational goals, encouraging good study habits and so on goes a long way to increasing their ability to learn. I know that divorce taxes a parent’s time and resources, but the reward your kids get from this commitment is huge! Stay involved and engaged in your child’s education together after divorce. You each are responsible for steering them in the right direction. Focusing on their education will help you all as you go through the divorce process.
Stay On the Same Page
Create a shared calendar so you and your ex can keep track together of all of the important extracurricular activities, school holidays and appointments. Try a free calendar like Google Calendar, which you can sync with multiple email addresses for easy access and reminders. Color-code your calendar to make it easier to see which days your child will spend with which parent.
Keep Yourself Informed
Make sure your child’s school has all of the contact information for both parents. Ask the school and teachers make two copies of report cards, handouts, and school materials. Both parents can then have them available. Mixed messages or lost information can easily lead to conflict! Plus it will help both of you work together after divorce. Both of you need to stay informed and involved with what is going on with your child’s school.
Be Supportive
Children can feel self-conscious about the fact that they live in a dual-home environment or that their family is separated. Make every effort you can to ensure that no attention is drawn to the conflict in your family. Your child will struggle with their school work if they are embarrassed and self-conscious. Both of you should try to attend school meetings and other activities, either together or separately.
Don’t put your children’s teachers or school in the middle of your problems! School needs to be a “safe” place for your children. It is not a place to bring your family issues. Don’t rob your children’s security by acting out divorce issues at school. They need to feel secure, especially during this difficult time of adjustment.
Co Parenting as a Team Helps Your Children Win in School
Without a doubt, there will be challenges, triumphs, and memories during the school year. It is a rewarding time to work together with your fellow parent on this adventure. Do your part to help them do their best academically. Remember that kids mature as they grow in their skills as they progress to each grade level. Your skills at parenting together after divorce will grow too! Help your children succeed academically. Work together for your kids and help them grow up to become well adjusted in life. You can both help your child along the way by being responsible for your own actions. The class in coparenting that we offer is unique in that it helps you get clear about your own actions and choices. It empowers you to create a new future and become a powerful partner in your child’s success.
