What is Co-Parenting?

What is Co-parenting? Wikipedia describes this term as a “parenting situation where adults share the duties of parenting a child.”  Most often this is a mother and a father who have divorced. It can also refer to any two people who live separately who are raising children together. The coparent relationship is one that focuses solely on the child.

Happy and stable marriages may be the ideal situation when it comes to child-rearing, according to experts. However, over half of all marriages in America end in divorce and many of these annulments involve children. And these numbers do not factor in relationships between individuals who never married but still had children before their romantic relationship breakup.

Who is Breaking Up?

While you may be breaking up with your partner, you are not breaking up with your children.  When you both work to create stability, consistency and effective communication you kids will thrive.  And while breakups are indeed hard on children, research has shown that successful co-parenting supports their needs better than a two-parent home filled with hostile or ineffective communication.

Co-parenting may be an ideal financial, emotional and social alternative to continuing a relationship that is not working.

What is Co-Parenting?

The term “co-parenting” refers to a situation in which two parents work together for the good of their child. They are separated parents who assume joint responsibility in bringing up their children.

Social scientists sometimes use the term “co-parenting” to describe any pair of individuals who are raising a child jointly. They may be the two biological parents or they may not.  Most often co-parenting occurs after a divorce, separation or romantic breakup in which children are impacted.

The Co-Parenting Relationship

Both parental parties agree to set their own personal differences aside in a co-parenting relationship. They jointly seek to develop and implement a parenting plan that is in their children’s best interest. A solid co-parenting relationship typically requires regular communication as well as troubleshooting. Both parties agree to mutual responsibility. It can be difficult to implement a healthy co-parenting relationship after the dissolution of a passionate relationship, but it is possible.

Both parental parties can take responsibility for what happened in the past.  You can commit to setting aside your differences and work to co-parent together for your children’s benefit.  Co-Parenting Into The Future is a unique parenting course designed to free you from the past and give you tools to build a successful co-parenting relationship.

Benefits of a Successful Co-Parenting Relationship

A successful co-parenting relationship delivers a number of powerful benefits to children:

Stability

Having consistency in expectations and schedules helps children feel more stable and safe.  Children thrive in stability and consistent clear communication brings forth stability in children’s lives.  Stability helps them develop the capacity to face the daily challenges of life. It comforts them when they feel overwhelmed.

Healthy Relationships

A child experiences their world through their relationships with their parents. When those relationships provide safe, stable and nurturing environments, kids thrive both physically and emotionally.

The relationship between children and their parents is one of the most important relationships in a child’s life and lasts throughout their entire lifetime. An effective co-parenting relationship offers a solid framework that enables children to develop healthy relationships that are easily maintained with both parents. This is important when it comes to their emotional and physical well-being.  Positive parent-child relationships are associated with higher levels of self-esteem, happiness, and life satisfaction.

Protects Children

Children sometimes feel a strong need to take care of his or her parents’ social needs and feelings. They may offer support to a parent who is grief-stricken.  But if taken too far, this can be very inappropriate.  Children lack the ability or knowledge to be counselors.  They have their own confusions to work through and making them messengers between two parents in a breakup is emotional cruelty.  They should not have to absorb the emotional fallout that occurs in a breakup.

Sometimes children can feel this way even in homes that are intact. But the risk is significantly higher for those who are involved in a divorce or separation situation.  Children should be protected as much as possible from the emotional stresses that occur when a home is split up.

Conflict Resolution

A healthy co-parenting relationship lets children see that their parents are able to communicate effectively. When parents can manage the negative emotional impacts of divorce, children are less likely to assume those responsibilities that are too big for them to handle.

Children have always learned by example. They watch and learn about life from those around them. During a breakup, children absorb what they see about conflict resolution and relationships. In an effective co-parenting relationship, children can learn how to cooperate with others. They can then learn to manage situations that are painful or difficult for them. This is a powerful role-modeling!

Effective co-parenting provides a safe environment for children and reduces the damaging effects of familial splits. Setting boundaries and creating co-parenting agreements is the start of working together as co-parents. Empowered parents who have asked and answered the question “What is co-parenting for us?” can begin to build a brand new relationship based on their love for their children and their commitment to their children’s future.